Dear Charlie,
Today you are one year old. You are so beautiful. I have never seen another baby with such a sweet, quiet charm. Your smile is small and shy, and you look out at the world with big hazel eyes framed by long, dark lashes. More often than not, your head is leaning against my chest and your little fingers are curled into my shirt. You look so sweet that I can frequently be found nibbling on you: your pudgy arms and legs and cheeks are a baby smorgusboard. Although your belly is disappearing quickly now that you're more mobile, Lua still believes that "chubby" is the ultimate compliment because you have been called that (lovingly) more times than I can count. The other day she smiled sweetly at me and proclaimed "Mommy, you have such chubby legs!" Unfortunately for me, the chubby legs are far better suited to you than to me.
Being the second baby isn't always easy. You often get shuffled around from library to play date with no regard for your naps and no semblance of the kind of strict schedule that your sister had. I don't have hours upon hours to lavish on you alone, reading books with large photos of babies and very little words. You have no toys that Lua doesn't come along and claim, you have very little undivided attention. But I refuse to feel guilty for this, because you're turning out perfectly. At one year old, you are still held in someone's arms (usually mine) almost constantly - at your insistence. When you're not being held, you are usually following your sister and her friends around trying to get in on the big kid action. This does not go over very well with the big kids, but don't worry. If you keep growing as you have been, pretty soon you will be bigger than the big kids.
Charlie, I love everything about you. I love the way your face smooshes against your arm when you are sleeping (all twenty minutes of your nap), I love the blush on your cheeks when you wake up. I love your excitement and adoration of your big sister, the way she and only she can make you disolve into giggles. I love your gentle nature and your curiosity. I love that you're a mama's boy. I love that you don't mind that I kiss you a thousand times a day.
This year has flown by so fast. You are crawling now, but within a couple months you will be walking and running. I can tell already how agile you are. We took a trip to the St. Croix State Park last weekend and no matter where I set you down, you would turn your little bum around and crawl backwards all the way down the hill and straight to the river. You are very deliberate in your actions. Not at all what I expected from a little boy. You are an observer and you will watch and watch until you can do something perfectly. You rarely slip and fall, because you are so conscientious about what you are doing. It gives me hope that there is some combination of my and your father's genes that is at least a little bit athletic.
My darling little man, thank you for brightening our family with your presence. This first year of your life has been challenging and wonderful beyond all belief. The coming year terrifies me with these taunting words:
Two Toddlers. We will get through it, though we might all come out the other end being a little bit crazier. Just promise me one thing - you can walk and run and play all you like, but please come back sometimes to lay your head on my shoulder and let me kiss your soft round cheeks.
Love,
Mama
