One week later and Charlie's temper tantrums are significantly reduced. A combination of extreme patience, bribery, copious amounts of compliments and firm consequences has seemed to make the difference. Also, trying not to act like a four-year-old myself. I brought out the Good Behavior Coins, which make an appearance any time the going gets really rough. Every time I see Charlie doing something good, no matter how small, he gets a Good Behavior Coin. When he gets ten coins, he gets a reward. In the past, these rewards have usually been a new toy or a book. Sometimes they have been going to fun places like the water park or the zoo. Right now, Charlie's reward is that he gets to pick out one of his own toys from storage, where I stuck them after he refused to clean up his room last week (the Tantrum of the Ages that prompted the previous post). Wait, did I just admit that I confiscated all of Charlie's toys after he refused to pick them up? It's official, I have become my father. Hi, Dad. Thanks for infiltrating my brain.
Being a good parent is really hard work. It takes a lot of perseverance and a lot of sugar. (Yes, I tossed the last few pieces of red velvet cake when they got old but I immediately set about making a gluten-free chocolate concoction. Maybe when things have really calmed down I will go on a spinach juice diet. Maybe not.) Parenting is as challenging as it is tedious, as rewarding as it is frustrating. I keep reminding myself that eventually all of these seeds of good character we are planting in our children will come to fruition. When we have a young man who is confident and self-assured, who opens doors for people, who listens without interrupting, who can pray, joke, and handle setbacks with grace. Then my husband and I will look back and know that this was worth every struggle.
As far as the present goes, as much as Charlie sets my ears to steaming he also knows the fastest way to my heart. He is is the ultimate mama's boy, so you know that I can't be mad at him for long anyway. Today I am bringing Charlie to Grandma's so that he can spend a couple of days with her. I'm already missing his pudgy little arms wrapped around my shoulders and his contagious giggles. I know the time apart will be good for us, but our time together is pretty great too. At least ninety percent of it.
Being a good parent is really hard work. It takes a lot of perseverance and a lot of sugar. (Yes, I tossed the last few pieces of red velvet cake when they got old but I immediately set about making a gluten-free chocolate concoction. Maybe when things have really calmed down I will go on a spinach juice diet. Maybe not.) Parenting is as challenging as it is tedious, as rewarding as it is frustrating. I keep reminding myself that eventually all of these seeds of good character we are planting in our children will come to fruition. When we have a young man who is confident and self-assured, who opens doors for people, who listens without interrupting, who can pray, joke, and handle setbacks with grace. Then my husband and I will look back and know that this was worth every struggle.
As far as the present goes, as much as Charlie sets my ears to steaming he also knows the fastest way to my heart. He is is the ultimate mama's boy, so you know that I can't be mad at him for long anyway. Today I am bringing Charlie to Grandma's so that he can spend a couple of days with her. I'm already missing his pudgy little arms wrapped around my shoulders and his contagious giggles. I know the time apart will be good for us, but our time together is pretty great too. At least ninety percent of it.
4 comments:
I remember when you got all your My Little Ponies taken away and had to earn them back. I was horrified and was worried that my parents would do the same thing. It didn't get me to clean my room or anything, though.
@SarahA LOL too funny that you still remember that! Sadly, I don't think it got me to clean my room either. I doubt it will change Charlie's habits either, but at least for now I have less stuff to pick up off the floor!
Libby-I have wanted to do that so many times (take all of their toys and put them in the basement)!!! So-you're not alone, mama! :) Although, my urge to do it usually is spurred by them saying, "We want to go somewhere with lots of toys", which makes me boil, and to which I usually reply, "Well, we ARE someplace with lots of toys...our HOUSE." Then I say, "Well, if you don't like all of the great toys around here, I think I may collect them all, and take them to some families who do not have many toys. I bet those kids would be so happy." ;) ;)
I agree. Being a parent is so hard! SO awesome, so rewarding, and SO hard.
Charlie, Grandma and Patrick will have a ball together. :)
Love you!!! Michelle
I can so agree with both you and Shell. Hard work. And it pays off already when we hang out with other kids and everyone always tells us how well behaved Kian is. Of course with us he shows us his melt-downs and decompressions and tougher spots. But he is already showing great behavior and consideration in public. I like that AND I have to remember that next time I feel my temperature rising... :)
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