Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I have a lot of neuroses. For example, I hate whistling. If you're whistling around me for any extended period of time, you might want to duck because I will have a serious urge to punch you in the face. On the same token, do not repeatedly kick the back of my chair. Just don't. I have a hatred of it that goes back to elementary school. I don’t like sweat, on me or anybody else, and I feel faint at the sight of blood. For several years as a child I refused to take an elevator. I don't go on rides that spin, or rides that drop, or really any rides at all. I like eating chicken but if it has any stringy or chewy bits, or if it looks like it was once a live animal, I won't go near it. Are you getting the idea yet? I am clearly a little nuts.
One of my oldest neuroses has to do with anesthesia. When I was about five years old I had my tonsils removed. I have a vivid memory of the nurse giving me this thing that looked and tasted a lot like orange Chapstick. She told me to lick it. I did, and suddenly everything around me started blurring and changing. I was scared, so I turned to look for my mom. When I found her, her head appeared to be growing. Soon it was three times the size of her body. I was crying for my mom but I didn't want her giant head to come near me. Apparently that stuff was supposed to knock me out right away but I was so scared it took a lot longer than it should have. The surgery went fine, but the anesthesia messed with my head. To this day, I cannot stand to hear the song they were playing at the intake desk to the hospital, an eighties song that is sometimes still played in muzak form at the mall.
Yesterday I took the kids to the doctor for what has to be the hundredth time since winter began last year. They have both had non-stop ear infections, eye infections, adenoid infections...basically their entire heads are constantly infected. I feel so bad for them but especially for Lua, who has never been able to breathe out of her nose. When she was a toddler we used to wonder at how loudly she breathed. Every time she stopped talking in her car seat I was sure she'd fallen asleep because of her loud, rhythmic breathing, only to turn around and see her wide awake and breathing like a fifty-year-old over weight man.
After a lot of allergy testing and x-rays, we eventually found that Lua has super large adenoids that are causing all of these infections as well as blocking the airway to her nose. We decided to get them removed. At around the same time, the doctor found that both of Charlie's ears had been filled with fluid for months and like his sister, his adenoids were massive. Charlie doesn't have all of the breathing problems that Lua does, so we would probably have been content to leave his adenoids alone and just let him grow out of the problem. However, we were concerned about the ear infections they were causing and the damage they could eventually do to his one functioning ear. (Charlie wears a hearing aid in his left ear). The doctor recommended removing his adenoids as well as putting tubes in his ears.
The point of this rather long explanation is that now we are sending both of our little ones in for surgery on the same day at the Children's Hospital in St. Paul. I realize that the surgeries couldn't be more routine, and I feel truly lucky that we don't have anything more serious to worry about with our children health-wise. However, I must admit that I am freaking out a little. Not about the surgeries, really, since I trust the doctor who is doing them and I know they are simple procedures. My real worry is about the anesthesia.
One of my oldest neuroses has to do with anesthesia. When I was about five years old I had my tonsils removed. I have a vivid memory of the nurse giving me this thing that looked and tasted a lot like orange Chapstick. She told me to lick it. I did, and suddenly everything around me started blurring and changing. I was scared, so I turned to look for my mom. When I found her, her head appeared to be growing. Soon it was three times the size of her body. I was crying for my mom but I didn't want her giant head to come near me. Apparently that stuff was supposed to knock me out right away but I was so scared it took a lot longer than it should have. The surgery went fine, but the anesthesia messed with my head. To this day, I cannot stand to hear the song they were playing at the intake desk to the hospital, an eighties song that is sometimes still played in muzak form at the mall.
Yesterday I took the kids to the doctor for what has to be the hundredth time since winter began last year. They have both had non-stop ear infections, eye infections, adenoid infections...basically their entire heads are constantly infected. I feel so bad for them but especially for Lua, who has never been able to breathe out of her nose. When she was a toddler we used to wonder at how loudly she breathed. Every time she stopped talking in her car seat I was sure she'd fallen asleep because of her loud, rhythmic breathing, only to turn around and see her wide awake and breathing like a fifty-year-old over weight man.
After a lot of allergy testing and x-rays, we eventually found that Lua has super large adenoids that are causing all of these infections as well as blocking the airway to her nose. We decided to get them removed. At around the same time, the doctor found that both of Charlie's ears had been filled with fluid for months and like his sister, his adenoids were massive. Charlie doesn't have all of the breathing problems that Lua does, so we would probably have been content to leave his adenoids alone and just let him grow out of the problem. However, we were concerned about the ear infections they were causing and the damage they could eventually do to his one functioning ear. (Charlie wears a hearing aid in his left ear). The doctor recommended removing his adenoids as well as putting tubes in his ears.
The point of this rather long explanation is that now we are sending both of our little ones in for surgery on the same day at the Children's Hospital in St. Paul. I realize that the surgeries couldn't be more routine, and I feel truly lucky that we don't have anything more serious to worry about with our children health-wise. However, I must admit that I am freaking out a little. Not about the surgeries, really, since I trust the doctor who is doing them and I know they are simple procedures. My real worry is about the anesthesia.
Last night I was laying awake wondering how I can put my kids through this. A lot of my parenting techniques have revolved around trying to keep Lua and Charlie from inheriting my crazy worries. Am I just setting them up for a life of covering their ears in the mall every time they hear that one Life House song from 2007 that was playing in the hospital when they got their adenoids removed? What if they have a bad reaction to the anesthesia? In that case, how could I ever forgive myself for doing what is essentially elective surgery? (Adenoid problems usually go away once the child reaches puberty). But then again, how could I live with myself if Lua got serious sleep apnea from her mouth breathing, or if Charlie's hearing was further damaged because my own neuroses kept me from getting these important procedures done on them?
Luckily I have a partner who is not nearly as nuts as I am. Together we've decided to go ahead with the surgeries. Lua is not happy. She says she doesn't care that she's always sick, that it doesn't bother her. It's true that her chronically stuffy nose, migraine headaches and infected ears don't really get her down, but isn't that sad? The truth is that she doesn't know life any other way. Please keep us in your prayers next week as we try to get two kids to the hospital with lots of post-surgery popsicle bribes. I for one just hope they're not playing any music in the lobby. I've got enough issues as it is.
4 comments:
All my love and best wishes and crossed fingers and prayers of healing coming your way :)
Malik had surgery a few months ago and I was just as much of a mess. In my case, I think it had to do more with the guilt of allowing some of his baby teeth to decay at a faster than normal rate....It is amazing how the independence of a third child can domino into the strangest and most needless of mini-catastrophes.
They will be okay. Malik had a really hard time with the anesthesia and it was hard to watch. But, I knew that the consequences of not having the work done would have been far worse. Just love on them as much as you can - before and after. You will all need it :)
@adina thank you - keep 'em coming!
@brie I really appreciate you sharing this. So glad everything ultimately worked out with Malik.
ah poor kids. but most of all, poor you. thinking of you. it will be great when it's all over. make sure you eat lots of icecream too.
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